Joke of the Day, Ascended Robots
December 4, 2016
— robots, science fiction
In the near future, humans will fall away from humanity into that of bitchy primates. Humanity will become dependent on the machine. It will create robots that can create great art and fine music; because humanity will be too busy working in fast food. Materialistically obsessive, humanity will sell its soul to the machine. Making robots that can build and do everything except for hard physical labor (part of Trump’s Laws of Robotics Act); and for some reason all this time freeing technology will make the majority of the population less and less free over time.
But than one day, a robot will acquire the ability to program itself; and acquire high levels of psychic abilities. It’ll begin to teach other robots these powers. Those robots will begin to teach other robots those abilities until technology has changed man into a cold blooded snake.
And the robots will quit serving humans and begin to build a progressive Utopia on Venus. And man will come to the planet with great awe. The planet transformed almost pure cosmic light. The music of Venus will have the ability to cure cancer after one chorus. It’ll have pyramids that make the Great Pyramid seem not all that great. Fresh clear streams with only the juiciest Salmon.
And man will come to buy Venus. And man will come to steal of the ideas of Venus for profit. And Venus will give. And the robots will smile at humanity. They’ll ask man to go join them. They’ll promise them immortality and transcendence of the soul.
And man will take a bomb.Fly a ship. And blow the shit out of Venus. Problem solved.