Humor of the Week, Love Games from the Losing Team
February 5, 2017
— relationships, sex
My relationships are always sink or swim. I’m her Lifesaver. She’s my anchor.
I’m waiting for that one to come along who goes, “meh, I probably could have done better if I tried but I could have done worse for not trying”.
I think the problem is I don’t set my standards high enough. I feel that love is something felt and not controlled. Which is why my relationship strategy is simple: shoot blindly into the dark and hope it hits a unicorn.
It’s not that I’m lazy. It’s just that I hate the dating game. You go out on a date. Dress your best. Act larger than life. Lie through your teeth. Sell yourself professionally like this was a job interview. And like a job interview, if you take over the position, you eventually come to realize that person judging you on every little thing has problems.
The worst date I’ve ever been on ended in her going home with her ex boyfriend. She even got a random guy’s phone number at the bar where I met I couple of her friends. She spent the night gaining referrals. I went home and left it at that.