Famous Monuments Built by Men Trying to Compensate for Something
February 16, 2017
— architecture, empire state building
Tower of Babylon
It was the Tyrant Nimrod who had this raging tower built to connect the earth to the heavens. But like Nimrod, the tower got old, an the once erect construction too eventually flopped
The Lighthouse of Alexandria
It stood for many years as one of the Great Wonders of the Ancient World, a list Alexander the Great might have wrote himself. I think he built it as a symbol of enlightenment… and also as a tool… to let the sailors know where they can find the biggest phallis around these parts, I do reckon. Think of it as the worlds first over sized pickup truck.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa
It may look indecisive. Like, that hot Italian chick might be married or worse yet, a dude. However, this tower of power has remained erect for something hundred years. I guess things and stuff of historical significance took place here and what not. I don’t know, read a book about it.
I don’t know who Big Ben was but I have a feeling that Ben was proud about more than just his time keeping abilities.
Unlike other Phallic statues mentioned above, the Eiffel Tower is pretty useless. Built as part of an exhibition for the State Fair, this epic boner remains a permanent part of the French landscape
The Washington Monument
This modern monolith of the Classic Egyptian Obelisk is the biggest in the world. Was the first President of the United States compensating for something? Or, was Wash-a-ton apart of the families secret trouser legacy? We may never know….
Empire State Building
The Empire State building is first of the modern skyscrapers, a trend that would lead to a world wide pissing contest over whose building blocks the most sun from the concrete hell below.
Seattle Space Needle
Again, Merica! Was it in Washington’s will that everything with his name attached to it must contain a structural representation of his “raw power”. Here, this giant Jules Verne inspired space “needle” sticks out of the Seattle city scape like some kind of sore penis, I mean thumb.
Burj Khalifa, Dubai
The largest in the world. This building is the super penis of all super penises, visible from the window of my Midwestern Bedroom, Burj Khalifa has me wondering… “what was this guy trying to prove?”