Sacred Order of the Forbidden Mirth
April 1, 2017
Call me what you will! Just please, don’t call me late for dinner…
We be thus, from hence forth, the Grand Master Jester of the Sacred Order of the Forbidden Mirth or SOFM* for short, unless that’s already taken, then call it SOOTFM; which let’s face it, can easily be mistaken as a local radio station marketed towards coal miners.
*We are not affiliated with Organizations like ROJ, or the Royal Order of Jester; let alone a real organization.
And for legal reasons, only I, as Grand Master Jester, can give Official titles to dead people who can’t sue me in this life and goes as follows:
Crowned Bearer of the God Helm: Bill Hicks
Grand Ascended Jester: George Carlin
Master Bard of the Golden Pen: William Shakespeare
High Priest of Fools: Robin Williams
These are only titles, and current holders of these titles are subject to change; and titles are subject to expansion.
The Sacred Order of the Forbidden Mirth is a very flat system of command- unruly, with no room too grow.
And as Grand Master Jester of the Sacred Order of the Forbidden Mirth, it is my solemn duty too remind everyone that this title bears no real authority.
But that doesn’t make it any less legitimate.
Ancient Mystical Origins
Now, our sacred teachings are far older, dating back too the Ancient Order of Gormogon, circa 1720-1731, written by our Ascended Master, Duke Philip of Wharton:
Phil spoke too me in a dream about a Magical Golden tablet, left in a cave by Samuel Clemens along the banks of the Mississippi River. It was written several thousand years ago after Samuel Clemens the Grey was reborn as Mark Twain the white; who astral projected into the time of Solomon when he was building his temple and it was here where he was instructed by Enoch too write an instruction manual that explains the Mysteries of Reality in basic Hieroglyphs.
- Occultis Satirica, 1612, by John the Wizard.
So, I scribe upon my bed, with a Magic Marker, ruining the comforter, some ancient symbol I stole from Egypt- chanting the Ancient Incantation, usually the first words that pop in your head- clap my hands together three times- and find myself playing strip poker with the devil. I win by default, refusing too sign the dotted line. It’s a good thing I bluffed, considered he arrived naked and I was down too my last sock. But before he left, he handed me a map too the treasure, and a reminder too stay away from his daughters.
And it was here on this strange tablet, written in a language that only I can decipher; as if by the divine forces of creation, I made this shit all up; the ancient legends that lead us to this point in time and space.
The Legend of the Holy Trinity of Pointy Hats
For upon this tablet was an obscure story, that sounded confusing until you realized that it has a hidden second meaning that’s even more confusing.
And alas, it went as thus;
In the times of Solomon, while building his temple, three great exoteric thinkers approached prominent Masons working on the temple.
The first wore a Cap of the Dunce, a coned shaped hat placed upon the crown when one must sit in thee corner, facing thee wall, for the purpose of self reflection on the idiocy of the question.
And so while away from his corner, he approached the first Mason, a Politician. He asked this man, “hey bro, I heard, you’re in a secret society called Skull and Bones, with George Bush. What is that like?” Where upon, he was tasered by the Ark of the Convenient.
The Second Man, who wore the hat of the Jester, full of bells, spoke opening about the Institutional games, openly ridiculing the ruling class. The Masons laugh, enjoying the hidden structure within his chaos.
A Mason, a prominent Templar banker, approached the Jester, with a pouch full of gold and a papyrus contract, promising the Jester wealth as long as he works for him. The Jester refused, denying a $50 Million dollar contract by moving too Africa. And from then onward, was publicly ridiculed by all those on the Templar payroll.
The third man wore a Aluminium Foil hat, used as a comedic device too represent those with crazy conspiracies about UFO’s, the Supernatural and shit of that nature.
The man was a hashish smoker who approached Solomon, asking him, “hey man, what happened to Atlantis man, and are we controlled by dark invisible forces of consciousness, man?” Solomon made a nervous chuckle, pretended like the conversation never took place and continued on with his Masonry.
The following evening, the man was found mysteriously dead: stomach cut open- throat slit- face cut up and kidney removed- and filleted too the bone- the recorded cause of death, suicide.
And it was from the hidden message that our Order was birthed into existence.
The THREE DEGREES, or Initiation Rituals of the Sacred Order of the Forbidden Mirth
First Initiation: One must ask a prominent member of a Secret Society or Mystery School about his affiliations within that organization and what is the purpose or agenda of that organization, in front of a live audience, inside a building of Masonic design.
Second Initiation: One must openly mock the institutions inside a public arena during a sporting event, during a sermon or during the clean up after Burning Man.
Third Initiation: One must dedicate themselves too the studies of at least one Conspiracy Theory, providing hilarious commentary on the subject for the purpose of stirring up the proverbial turd.
One who completes these three levels, becomes a Master Jester, and can now climb the four degrees of the Master Path.
MASTER level initiations of the Sacred Order of the Forbidden Mirth
After one has successfully completed his three initiations, he must complete four more initiation rituals too reach the Grand Master Level.
- He must dig his own shallow grave until he reaches rock bottom, must bury himself alive, more dramatic the better, and then he must crawl himself out the hole he just dug for himself.
- He must strap an anchor around his leg, jump into a lake, find a fresh water pearl, and untie himself before he runs out of air.
- He must get naked, drench himself in pure alcohol and run through a burning trash pit or swim through a dumpster fire until all the alcohol as burned away .
- He must be shot from a cannon, and perform the flapping of the arms, a strong symbol signifying mans last failed attempt to soften his impact; before crashing into a warehouse full of feathered pillows.
How to Join
Too join, one must mock the institutions, the Secret Societies and, or authority; and make at some point a conscious decision about whether or not you wish too resonate with us, or not.
Members of another Secret Order, must enter into the purifying ritual before they can begin the process of initiation, known as; the Ritual of Degradation where that organization is openly mocked and its secrets exposed.
Otherwise, official Membership is forbidden, including but not limited too, gathering behind closed doors, taking this serious or simply believing this is something deeper than it really is.
Those who claim themselves as Official Members, shall suffer the punishment of public ridicule.
And so remember, this jest is merely for the pleasure of the muse.