NBA PLAYOFFS, the Last Ditch Effort of a Dying Franchise
April 13, 2017
— NBA PLAYOFFS
So I guess the NBA Playoffs are really popular right now. The Miami Heat alone has helped to boost the DVD sales of the 1995 Classic film Heat starring Al Pacino; which for some reason, is really popular among sports fans.
I only like the gayest sports possible- Fencing, Archery, and Cross Country Skiing. But I also enjoy Mixed Martial Arts. I, however, do not enjoy boxing- as much as I do MMA. I, however, think that Basketball and baseball are dying sports and we should stick with our soccer roots. This whole elite sports cult we have in American is an embarrassment. I think the reason why these dying sports- baseball, basketball, hockey- and hopefully, football by the end of this draft, is because that’s what Americans think it’s we are supposed to know. We have 2000 years worth of hidden information locked away in the words of mystical scholars but for some reason, knowing the stats of a Rocky Player for a conglomerate that will be owned by China in the next 20 years is what’s important.
It’s fucked up that Americans stole Football, renaming it Soccer which was stolen from Rugby and renamed Football. I know an unsettling amount about football. I enjoy the subtle nuances that go on off stage. My favorite football player is the Defensive Coordinator. That’s right. I’m a writer. I like the guy who stands in the big box and sets up his pieces with undaunting precision. I like that guy. I can relate to that guy. What I can’t relate with is people who think that because they cheer for a team that there an actual important part of the team. No, you’re a spectator. I’m a spectator for the human species. Huge fan up until now. Boo!
WELCOME TO MONDAY NIGHT PSYCHOLOGICAL REEVALUATION. na-na-na-na. NA! NA! NA!
HI! AND WELCOME TO THE MUSICAL OLYMPICS!
GOOD EVENING! WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL EVENING PLANNED FOR US AHEAD! IT’s THE TENTH ANUAL WORLD METAPHYSICAL INSIGHT! WHERE EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATES IS A WINNER?
I’d love that. A diamond stage of talking heads tossing ideas around until one of them hits a home run. That’s my kind of entertainment. Call me weird. Call me boring. I think sitting around eating hot dogs and discussing your favorite dying pass time when you should be doing your job is equally a waste of time.
I’m just saying don’t judge me for how I waste my time. At least people will still give a shit about literature and language 100 years from now, nobody except Americans still believes that Basketball belongs somewhere else but the summer Olympic games haven’t evaluated world opinion for the past twenty years. Because I don’t know if you know this but Soccer is like the Metric of sports. You’re still on the standard system. I’m not asking America to jump into the future. I’m just saying. At least try to live in the now. Is that really a lot to ask for? Just live in the now. Please.