Why my Writing always leads to Dark Places
May 7, 2017
I’m a pathetic worm of an individual who talks about things I have no real authority discussing except through my own twisted sense of gross overconfidence- kinda like a film critic or pretty much anybody who likes to hear themselves speak. I think we can all agree on that point.
It’s hard being true to yourself when people only look at you like the working class scum my parents proudly prepped for the role. My boss always tells me I need to change my attitude. Nope. I need a creative outlet. I’ve got ideas swarming through my head from, sun up to sun down. I don’t belong here.
And yet, why should we waste our time reading a bunch of jibberish coming from the bottom end of the American Cesspool? I should probably practice self-censorship until I’ve written enough articles for Forbes Magazine explaining why Greed is a healthy soul-crushing addiction.
But no, I had to be the weird guy with his own agenda. So I decided to take a new route, starving artist, you know, because I want to be original. I want to be the guy who steps over that line into enemy territory.
I believe in reading and writing about evil painful truths about our reality. It compels me and fills my stomach with boiling cynicism. I love it. It forces me to do something about it. Like writing jokes about our painful reality in hopes that some good will come from it. It sounds petty but seven billion people doing their own thing in their own way can make a major difference.
So now I’m not afraid anymore. Because I have only death to look forward to at the end of this journey. My life has no meaning, unlike my life’s work, which has left me broke. Maybe not the best investment but time management has never been a strong characteristic of mine.
And yet, I have no editors- or readers for that matter. I can write anything I want whenever I want even if it is the unpopular view on the topic at hand. What do I have to lose? The mass fortune that is my retirement? It’s less than a pound of gold doubloons, not even worth the time of even the most novice of pirates, you couldn’t even buy the smallest seaworthy vessel with that kind of poverty. What are you going to take? My house? Guess again. I don’t have one. Are you going to tarnish my career? Nope. I’m doing just fine without it.
This is what drove me to Comedy in the first place. It’s the lowest form of art. It’s so low. You don’t even need a college degree. An honorary degree is better anyways. Anyone can get a degree, but only an elite few who actually accomplished something pretentious enough to change the game, receive honorary acknowledgment of their contributions to the field of bad assary.
People have this myth that Comedians get good because the laughter they create is a reflection of their horrible lives and childhood experiences. I disagree. People with fucked up lives are often more compelled to do something about it than people who are comfortable in their situation. It’s call this phenomenon, common sense.
Truth is. I’m very creative and very poor, so comedy is what I have to work with. I can’t afford new drum heads, so music is out of the question. The only equipment I need is a firm voice and an idle ear. That’s it. And food. I could use that at some point. And maybe a place of my own, so girls can’t laugh at me for being homeless. What a dream. People dream of a new car, a smarter phone, and a hotter girlfriend. I dream of not living in a car in a world full of smarter people not always on their phones, and a hot meal.
It’s hard to find a girlfriend when your first date begins with, “I wanna be with somebody who’s interested in marriage”. It’s usually followed by a, “Hey, could you do me a favor? If you wanna be with me. Then I need you to let go of all your fears, all your ideas, all your beliefs, and all your values. Let them dissolve until all that is left is this mystical connection to something incomprehensible. You with me so far? Good. Now step outside of yourself and look at the game from another angle. What can you do to improve upon this opportunity, and more importantly, yourself”. And that is why I’m not marriage material or the type of guy you want running for office.
I see my comedy style as dark. The Kabbalah calls this dark space, Daath. The Orphic Myth calls it the Underworld. The Dante retelling calls it, Inferno. Notice how Dante must first go through hell before he can get to Paradiso. That’s at the core of my writing both Comedy and Drama. I like to dig at the darkness in order to get to the light.
This is a good time period for Comedians. Stand-Up is going through a period of innovation and experimentation not seen since Greek Theatre added a third speaking role. Greek Drama is a great analogy, who used the popular medium to add commentary on issues with morality and cultural tensions. Comedy, I feel, is going through a similar development. Not bad for a medium that nearly died out with the Court Jester.
I wanted to be the Pythagoras of Acoustics. I wanted to study sound and shed light on the power of these invisible forces over our physical reality. Not the best career move for a blue collar Fuck Up living in the Mid West. I should have been a Truck Driver or a mediocre boss. Nope. Weird Guy.
And that is why Open the Vox is a real thing.