It’s Amazing how much Technology has Changed. I’m only 26 & I can already say,
“I remember back in the day when all we had was pen & paper. We used to write in things called notebooks, journals or diaries. We read things called books. When we were interested in a familiar topic. We read magazines. For packing valuables, we had newspapers!
For information, we had libraries. Yes, kids. We had huge buildings where extensive catalogs of information was stored and shared via something we called a Library card. It looked similar to a excel page. We wrote our names in it and handed them to an administrator known as a librarian.
When we wanted to write something, we kept it to ourselves. We didn’t share that shit with strangers on a blog. We simply wrote until our hand cramped up and we were covered in ink. And no, it wasn’t a cartridge you put in a computer.
We had this stick looking thing with a metal tip. Sometimes, we stuck feathers on them for decoration. When we wanted to email someone, we wrote what’s known as a letter. If you wanted to text some, you had carrier pigeons.
Then, Apple came along and messed everything up! Now, we have e.books and kindles and pdf’s and mobile phones! All I had was this leather bound thing I put together using homemade paper I made out of pulp of old newspapers. Don’t even get me started on newspapers.
What’s black and white and never read newspapers! Now, we have websites, updates, RSS Feeds, and apps! We had to pay some little SOB to toss that news on our front doorstep! You should consider yourself convenience. You little whipper snapper!
My families really into April Fools Day. My dad always liked to put clear tape on our doors while we slept and then yell fire! We’d run for the door and get wrapped up in the tape. He tried this on my buddy one night who was sleeping over. He jumped out the bedroom window instead. He landed comfortably on the four stories he told that night. The window was only a few feet off the ground.
My uncle used to tell us to stick our head under the chair to grab something he dropped underneath. When we did, he would put the chair down and our heads would get stuck underneath. We’d be stuck under there until we screamed for help.
My wife and kids decided to pull a similar trick on me. I was sleeping pretty soundly last night on the hammock. When I woke up, I was dressed like a butterfly! At first, I thought it was Halloween. I always go every year as a social butterfly. I like to sport my Polo, sunglasses and Rolex and pretend I’m a WASP- or as a Marco Polo shirt- an explorer of malls and trashy woman.
But if you really want to know what this day is all about, really get the full experience, really stare it right in the face- look in the mirror!
A few years from now, all Americans will be given Government regulated Smart Watches. It wont be to keep time. It’ll be to regulate your hand motions. Every middle finger will cost you $100. Every thumbs up will be stored in a government storage base. And men, mileage will be added to your dick. That’s right, your free ride days are numbered!
I heard there coming out with a new Trump I Phone, with a screen made of clear cut diamonds from the worlds finest jewelers made from nano gold fibers from the worlds top scientists. It will be like Trumps wife: decedent, well crafted; and more than the average man can afford.