Daily Satire, Flesh Bot

The reason we haven’t come up with realistic sex dolls is because we’re busy trying to perfect human altercation. All those sexy women on all those HD billboards. Photoshop. Look out- Botox injections, fake boobs. The next step, half woman and half machine fully customized with retractable labia, artificial skin that remains hairless and face sculpting technology. Women will no longer have to worry about how they look with their chameleon skin and will have more free time to think about how modern vanity has turned women into living sex robots.

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Joke of the Day, Dropping Books on Our Own People

The presidents only secret will be the espionage missions involving plundering the worlds great libraries to compile the Great Book. A Large work of Literature comprising of only the purest of truths and wisdom into general knowledge.

The president will drop the Great book on the people. Agnostics will become Gnostic and will be seen running on the streets crying, “Praise Kabblah”. Ignorance will still exist. Countless homeless people will be tossing their private copy of Fahrenheit 451 into the Fire Barrel. We’ll call them freedom fighters and hand them tape recorders; having them attack Radical Extremists with machine gun logic until their mind is blown into a nuclear holocaust.