Writing before Computers

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It’s Amazing how much Technology has Changed. I’m only 26 & I can already say,

“I remember back in the day when all we had was pen & paper. We used to write in things called notebooks, journals or diaries. We read things called books. When we were interested in a familiar topic. We read magazines. For packing valuables, we had newspapers!

For information, we had libraries. Yes, kids. We had huge buildings where extensive catalogs of information was stored and shared via something we called a Library card. It looked similar to a excel page. We wrote our names in it and handed them to an administrator known as a librarian.

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When we wanted to write something, we kept it to ourselves. We didn’t share that shit with strangers on a blog. We simply wrote until our hand cramped up and we were covered in ink. And no, it wasn’t a cartridge you put in a computer.

We had this stick looking thing with a metal tip. Sometimes, we stuck feathers on them for decoration. When we wanted to email someone, we wrote what’s known as a letter. If you wanted to text some, you had carrier pigeons.

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Then, Apple came along and messed everything up! Now, we have e.books and kindles and pdf’s and mobile phones! All I had was this leather bound thing I put together using homemade paper I made out of pulp of old newspapers. Don’t even get me started on newspapers.

What’s black and white and never read newspapers! Now, we have websites, updates, RSS Feeds, and apps! We had to pay some little SOB to toss that news on our front doorstep! You should consider yourself convenience. You little whipper snapper!

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Humor for our Times, Day the Earth Stopped Caring

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I’m waiting for the day Aliens come down and visit. They’ll ask us how the Pyramids were built. We’ll be too busy on our the computers we have rewired to our neurones. Schools will have to broadcast a radio wave so kids can’t use the orgasm app in class!

We’ll have the Pyramid covered in asphalt. Why? To modernise it. Flat tires will be common while driving on the Great Pyramid thanks to a law passed by Egyptian rednecks and the guys from Duck Dynasty.

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Yeah, they’ll try to communicate with us but we’ll think it’s a scam because the Chinese, the Russians, The Indians and Alien Top Secrets sites will be the only ones talking about it. The Republican’s will claim it’s a hoax as they try to squeeze as much info from the Aliens as humanly possible.

Most of all (Crack). Damn it! I dropped my smart phone and now it’s retarded. Thanks, Apple. Who makes a phone with a glass screen? Jeez, did you get your design from Tiffany’s? Is this a functional device or a piece of decoration? It’s a piece of something, I’ll tell you that much…..